I used to be one of those smug parents who measured success by the number of minutes my kids were *off* their screens. Thirty minutes of books? Gold star. An hour outside? Someone call the Guinness folks. Then one night I walked past my son’s room and heard him whispering. Curious, I peeked in—no FaceTime call, no friend on speaker, just a glowing screen. “Who are you talking to?” I whispered. He shrugged. “Oh, it’s just my bot.” Somewhere between Ghostbusters and Black Mirror, we parents got lost.

The latest research backs up my late‑night freakout. A June 2025 study from Weill Cornell Medicine, Columbia University and UC Berkeley found that it isn’t how long kids stare at screens that predicts mental‑health trouble—it’s how they use them. The researchers looked at patterns of compulsive or “addictive” use—feeling unable to stop using a device, distress when not using it or using it to escape problems—and found that those behaviours were linked to roughly double the risk of suicidal thoughts and emotional or behavioural issues. Simply clocking more hours on a phone at age 10 wasn’t associated with anxiety or depression later on.

Over four years the team followed nearly 4,300 children aged nine to ten, using machine‑learning to classify their habits. By age 14, about one in three kids had a high addictive use trajectory for social media and one in four for mobile phones. More than 40 percent showed high addictive use of video games. Those children weren’t just ignoring chores; they were significantly more likely to report suicidal thoughts or behaviours and to show symptoms of anxiety, depression, aggression or rule‑breaking. A related report from Columbia University emphasised that high or increasing addictive use patterns were tied to a two‑to‑three‑times greater risk of suicidal behaviours compared with low addictive use patterns. Total screen time, by contrast, had no association.

As a Middle Eastern parent living in the age of TikTok duets and Instagram reels, this hits close to home. I’ve watched kids in Cairo malls glued to devices not because they’re bored but because they’re running fledgling businesses, editing videos or in some cases unknowingly feeding an algorithm the way a pigeon feeds breadcrumbs to a cat. Parents here and across the world tend to fall back on old tactics: take away the phone, cut the internet, threaten to switch to dial‑up. Yet the study suggests these blunt tools may reinforce addictive behaviours. Limiting use during school hours alone does little to reduce risk. It’s like telling a chocoholic to eat chocolate only at noon.

Instead, we need to treat screen use like any other habit that can tip into addiction. Pay attention to why and how your teen is online. Are they using TikTok to avoid homework or to learn a new dance for their cousin’s wedding? Do they melt down when Wi‑Fi buffers, or can they log off without trembling? If you notice cravings or distress, talk to them and consult professionals. Much like with other addictions, cutting them off cold turkey can backfire. Discuss digital “servings” the way you might discuss dessert: a couple of treats are fine; three cakes for breakfast might mean something deeper is going on.

This also opens the door to deeper conversations about values. Encourage your teens to question the content they consume. Who benefits when an influencer tells them to buy yet another gadget? What happens when an algorithm keeps feeding them doom‑scrolls about world events? Teaching teens to think critically about media and money turns the phone from a sinkhole into a tool. Consider combining digital literacy with financial literacy: if your child spends hours on gaming microtransactions, ask them to balance a pretend budget. If they follow a financial influencer, help them compare those tips to advice from a trusted local bank.

Finally, remember that screens aren’t inherently evil. They’re how our teens connect, create and sometimes just relax after a day of exams and chores. The trick isn’t to count minutes but to notice patterns. Replace the phrase “Put that phone down!” with “How does that app make you feel?” When my son told me his bot was his best friend, I didn’t confiscate the phone. I asked him what the bot said. He replied, “It told me to go outside because my dad is sneaking around in the hallway.” Touché.

**Sources:** [1] Weill Cornell Medicine newsroom; [2] Columbia University Irving Medical Center.